you’d rather i be

m e dICATED

and normal, simple, dead
in my eyes
(you want them to be void
of sparkle and hope, grace, compassion)

you think it’d be easier
if i never felt the things rising to the surface
bubbling and causing the sweet upward curl
of my lips.

you wish i was flat, emotionless, broken
you choke me on those pills
tell me it’s helping me to be NORMAL
but all it does is bring the
numbness back and force me
under the perpetual shade of
darkness behind my eyelids.

i’ll never be normal enough for you.