Hey friends! I know it’s been like, what, a year since I posted anything on this blog? Life got busy and I’ve started and abandoned at least a dozen or so posts, much to the annoyance of my web admin who had to make this wordpress install for me. Anyways, I’ve decided to come back with a bang.
I’m working on a bunch of other blogs that’ll probably be more entertaining than this, but since someone from Twitter decided to argue with me that the updated art style in shows like She-Ra and Ducktales makes them “lose their magic” because of lazy character designs and worldbuilding, this is the blog you’re getting today.
I never set out to write academic essays. That’s not the sort of platform I thought I would have as a washed-up author in my 30s, but when I truly, genuinely love something, I start to pick it apart scientifically.
As many of you know, 2020 was a really difficult year. Like, it’s been nearly a year since I posted a new blog and I used to write a lot more on here about writing and writing tips and book reviews, but that just got to be too hard.
Most of the books I read are either about queer life or by queer authors. So if they do include a romance, which I do generally like to see in stories because I love romantic subplots, the romance is usually queer or they’ve got a queer side romance.
Since I’ve only been using Google Play since 2017 and Spotify wants to act like it doesn’t know me, allow me to show you guys what I’ve been listening to for the past 3 years. Starting with 2017.
Petaluma is the last stop in the Bay Area before it becomes wine country. Located in the scenic Sonoma county, it has tons of amazing food, wine, and, yes, even beer.
This year for NaNoWriMo I’m writing my very first YA novel. I’ve only done New Adult before this with main characters ranging from 19-24, but Helena Bram is 15.
Since I just realized I ran out of scheduled posts and I haven’t posted anything for 4 days, I’m going to go ahead and start a brief NaNoWriMo series for the month of November.
She can’t fall apart, not yet. They’re in the middle of a war. Her pain comes second to the suffering of trillions of people on hundreds of planets all across the galaxy. She is Commander Rhys Shepard of the Alliance Navy, the first human spectre, the entire galaxy is counting on her.
This book makes my heart feel so full. Though the first line, where she talked about “getting the wind” from her mother, my initial reaction was “Dang that sucks you got bad gas, Ruby” and I had a little chuckle about it for a good bit. Cause that’s not what Lackey meant AT ALL.
I made the mistakes of reading the 1-star reviews before I wrote this one. Which sort of made me sick. Everyone is complaining that it’s “too juvenile” like this is middle-grade? I don’t know what you thought this was going to be, but the writing is juvenile because it’s for literal children?
Here is your periodic reminder that I use Amazon Referral links on my site. So any of the book links you click, whether they’re mine or someone elses, are referral links.
I have no idea why it took me so long to discover V.E Schwab especially because the kinds of books she writes are the kinds of books I read. And also she has the most enormous following of any author I’ve ever seen before in my life?
If you like romantic plots that are kind of messy, this book is for you. I found the constant choices between all the guys for Mercy to be sort of long-suffering and a little dull, but I’m not big on overarching romantic plots.
I’m laying here awake
Naked
Skin soft and supple
Lips wet
Fingers on your chest
Cheek against your shoulder
Ripe
Sweet
Open
And you’re checking your phone
For things that will never be
While I’m here next to you
Ready to be plucked from the stem
Heart racing
Heated
And pleading
But you
You’re too far gone
No matter how many nights you hold me
Beg me not to go
Smooth my hair over my shoulders
Kiss my forehead
Placate my whimpering trembling body
You’re never you
Not anymore
You’re just a shell
Hunched over your phone
Next to the
Sweetest fruit you’d ever eat
Escaping to the things that bitterness is made of
Just to pretend to feel whole again
Like you never will
Without me.
I’m standing here
bathed in the light from the hallway
still waiting for you to come back
to say thank you
to love me again like you used to
but deep down I know you’re never coming back
because you’re angry and I’m angry too
because I hate you and you hate me too
because there’s nothing we could’ve done
but just waited for each other
and you’ve moved on
but I’m still stuck here
like a ghost
loving you
and you’re out there searching for other things
and still missing the point
of someone so devoted they would stand here
door open, hands at their sides
waiting for a miracle
but maybe miracles don’t exist
outside of fairy tales.
Enveloped in your arms
cheek pressed to the soft flesh of your chest
listening to your words come softly
the words that tell me
“this isn’t love”
then what is it?
What are these caresses
declarations
sexual encounters
“convenience”?
And I’m used up
bitter and cut off from the world
because I love you more than anything
because I dared to love someone like you
more than life itself
and my reward
is forever remembering you
Everywhere you are I go
I sit just to be close to you
as close as I’m allowed
you don’t even know I’m here
I’m hidden behind walls
and you’re hidden behind lessons
but I’m here
always close
and waiting
because I fucking love you
more than I love myself
She awoke with a fragile heart, lashes fluttering in the darkness, bleary and still sleep-eyed. Her chest felt hollow, broken, and fragile in so many ways. Her tongue dry, throat raw, eyes burning with the sting of so many tears. She slid out of the bed, placing her feet on the hardwood floor, swaying some before catching her balance.
This book was an experience for me. As someone who suffered through abuse and self-harm I could identify with this very well. The descriptions of Charlie falling apart weighed heavily in my heart as I listened. So too did her need to run away.
This book was so sweet and so cute. I absolutely love books that are in a series, but aren’t completely related to one another. I don’t know why, I’m just a total nerd for these types of books.
I really liked this book, but the writing style was actually really hard for me to get into. So it took me quite a long time to read it because of this.
Okay, so I’m writing for another fandom. I’m kind of burnt out on JONAS right now. I’m trying to catch up on everyone’s stories. Like Faerietaleredux and suburbs. I’m sorry if I haven’t responded to reviews or reviewed your stories. I’m trying to keep up, but I can’t. I love you guys.
Okay. So because I love writing random oneshots every three seconds, I’m writing this. It’s a tag to Chasing the Dream. I’m really only taking one scene and expanding on it.
My sister (Moon Bound Fantasies) is making me write this. If I get 100 reviews, I have to make it a chapter fic instead of a drabble. I don’t want to do that because this idea seems incredibly strange to begin with. So…yeah.
I really need to update Just Like Kevin and Even Better. Even Better has been on my mind a lot lately and I’ve been dying to write the next chapter, but like…I keep getting sidetracked thankstocayceandlaxmiandmandycoughcoughcough. Another story! This time it’s a Joella and a Kacy. And yeah, it’s preeettyyy steaaamy. So…prepare to blush.
I SWEAR I’M GOING TO UPDATE SOMETHING. But I had to write this because I was talking to Cayce (MyJonasSensesAreTingling3) while my brain was melting through my ears while I was watching Knowing. THAT MOVIE IS SO FREAKING SCARY. And good. but SCARY.
So I was watching The Thing You Do! on Encore and I immediately thought of the episode of Jonas. You know. That Ding You Do? And I was like “Wow. That’s so cool.” So as I was watching the movie, I became more and more interested and totally in love with the plot. Then I thought Hey. Why don’t I write an AU JONAS fanfiction like this?And to any of you who have seen the movie, you know that it’s totally just like JONAS. Kind of. You know, minus…well, you get it pretty much.
I was going through some old stuff and stumbled across this. It’s not that good seeing as how I wrote it about a year ago, but I thought I’d upload it because I really like H2O. And I can’t wait for the next season =).
Dont freak out about the fact that I’m writing something other than a Disney fic just yet. This is my half of a trade on DeviantART. It’s very poorly written, but I got this idea like from reading the character bios on Wiki. They’re so OOC. I’m sorry DDD:.
It was breathtaking, the silence between us. The way he looked at me, brown eyes searching for something familiar in my eyes. He wanted to know that I still felt the same. He wanted to make sure that being there with me was okay. I didn’t know what I should reflect in my eyes. I was finding it hard to breathe. The way he looked at me was suffocating.
I swear. I am so super-lame for writing this. I just couldn’t not write it. I need to stop watching JONAS. I’m gonna just go ahead and blame thiscoffeeshop (even though it was totally inspired by Irrevocablyamanduh-ily!) for this one too. You hear me, girl? I blame you.
Okay, this is Camp Rock. *GASP* I know, I’m writing something other than JONAS. Isn’t that amazing? I probably fail at these characters, I feel like I didn’t get to know them well enough. I love Camp Rock though =).
So I’m trying to get everything updated. Everything I haven’t updated for awhile. I might just call Unfaithful finished. I like the way it ended and inspiration is few and far between. If you don’t already know I’m grounded from the internet. It’s also my birthday today so yay me 8D.
I thought I should update this because like, I just now realized it doesn’t have as many chapters as I thought it did. I’m probably going to be skipping ahead a bit in this chapter. That Cinderella Ball is making me want to. Gaaah. I can’t wait to get there!
So if you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know I’ve been developing an interactive online serial about a girl with supernatural bad luck named Rhine Tseng.
This is for irrevocablyamanduh and suburbs who inspire me so much. Oh, and thiscoffeeshop too, who reminded me that I need to update this like…a week ago. And keeps me incredibly entertained with all of her awesome JONAS stories.
Yes. thiscoffeeshop is not impressed with my having Macy faint. Which is why I feel the need to update again because I’m craving some Kevin/Macy goodness. And I really feel like writing right now. Yes.
Well, I’m finally getting around to writing the second chapter of Just Like Kevin! I’ve been kind of dreading it because I lack ideas for this story! It’s like, trying to get from point A to point B has taken the fun out of writing this.
For a long time I was part of 10 authors who wrote JONAS fanfiction on fanfiction.net and it was awesome. I was one of the fan favorites and made a lot of friends and inspired a lot of people.
So I wrote a prequel to Sugar and Spice cause I got flamed super bad for that story by a lot of people on the interwebs and the prequel is even worse than the one shot, but I’m sure that’s what you’re all here for so. Enjoy.
This fanfiction has always been an odd one for me. Considering I don’t remember it nor do I remember the show. I literally have no idea what Martin Mystery is. I mean, I have a vague idea, but I don’t remember anything about what this fanfiction was about or where it was going.
I wrote so many fanfictions for shows I don’t even remember and right now my gay ass can’t even write fanfictions for shows I’ve watched a hundred times because I’m terrified I’ll get the characterizations wrong. Strange how we evolve as writers, isn’t it?
I still remember writing this, thinking I was hot shit cause I wrote the longest story young me had ever written clocking in at just over 4,000 words. Did I mention I’m currently a published author with like…2 full-length novels and 8 other unedited novels sitting around on my Google Drive? Cause uh. I am.
Honestly this is just going to be a wild ride, y’all. Welcome to me posting my old fanfiction for the ENTIRE MONTH of August since it’s my birth month and you know we Leos like to do it big.
This may come as a surprise to absolutely no one, but I am doing a giveaway for my 3,000 follower count (I’m about 5 away now, but I’ll be running this for a full month!) with a lot of great prizes (and even some from Lisa Stapleton!) ! I’m really excited that I’ve almost made 3,000 followers on Twitter!
This may come as a surprise to absolutely no one, but I am doing a giveaway for my 3,000 follower count (I’m about 5 away now, but I’ll be running this for a full month!) with a lot of great prizes (and even some from Lisa Stapleton!) ! I’m really excited that I’ve almost made 3,000 followers on Twitter!
This may come as a surprise to absolutely no one, but I am doing a giveaway for my 3,000 follower count (I’m about 5 away now, but I’ll be running this for a full month!) with a lot of great prizes (and even some from Lisa Stapleton!) ! I’m really excited that I’ve almost made 3,000 followers on Twitter!
This may come as a surprise to absolutely no one, but I am doing a giveaway for my 3,000 follower count (I’m about 5 away now, but I’ll be running this for a full month!) with a lot of great prizes (and even some from Lisa Stapleton!) ! I’m really excited that I’ve almost made 3,000 followers on Twitter!
I recently changed Rhine’s character design cause it didn’t sit well with me that I have no black MCs. So instead of white European/Taiwanese, she’s black European/Taiwanese.
I have a very special treat for you guys. From now until August 9th or so, I’ll be posting chapters of a fanfiction I wrote in 2005 containing Hannah Pettigrew, my Harry Potter OC who would eventually become the basis for Ophelia from my book, Power.
The below has not been edited, beta’d, or updated to fit my current writing style.
With a title like Sub Tweet I was excited to see what this was going to be about. Everyone knows I’m the master of subtweeting people (not really, I lack a whole bunch of subtlety, lbr).
This was very, very short and read like an unedited Wattpad story. I really like that Devereaux continues to write f/f and LGBT fiction, but I can’t help but think that this sort of writing is a little detrimental to the community.
I got this title on audible like I do most of my traditional publishing reads and as much as it pains me because I adored the first one, I’m going to have to DNF book 2.
Let me preface my review with this: I did not like this book. Like It was a struggle for me to read and it turned me off to reading other stuff for a bit, but that doesn’t mean you won’t like it. The romance was very heavy-handed and that didn’t jive well with me, but if you’re into romance then full speed ahead. You’ll probably like this.
Going into this book I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew it was an LGBT read, and anyone who knows me knows those are my kryptonite, as in I will literally give any LGBT book or author a chance in the name of supporting LGBT becoming a future staple of the writing industry.
A lot of the reviews I’ve seen for this book on Goodreads and Amazon whined about how badly written Jazz was. And, to be honest, I was a little surprised by this.
This book was really interesting. Initially, I debated hard on giving it a higher rating, but I didn’t really like how this was a very thinly veiled fanfiction for the Freeform show “The Fosters” with a few of the names and situations changed.
There’s a pain I can’t ignore
Because Earlier I got to thinkin’ “Maybe I can”
but there’s things you don’t want to deal with
so there in lies the problem
to deny what love is
transforms you to hate.
It’s like this:
you wait a lifetime to hear hello
but all they wanna say is good-bye
you wait forever to be their reason
but all they wanna tell you is a lie.
Have you ever been so in love
that his smile is your lullaby,
his eyes are your night sky,
he overtakes your dreams.
Have you ever been so in love
that he steals your breath
his hair comes in whispers
sweet caresses on your cheek.
Have you ever been so in love
that his laugh is your morning song
sweet melody carried by the wind
hitting your ear in sweet rhythmic tones.
Have you ever been so in love
that he’s the soundtrack of your summer
every song you hear makes you think of him
in everything you write, he has a place.
Have you ever been so in love
that you get butterflies when you see him
even if you just catch a glimpse
see him for a fleeting moment.
Have you ever been so in love
that his heartbeat is the rhythm you live by
that you can’t go a single moment without the thought
of your cheek pressed against his chest
the steady rhythm of his heart
the warmth of his touch.
Have you ever been so in love
that you want to know everything about him
you hang on every word
love his imperfections
love him with all your heart.
Have you ever been so in love
that it hurts; good and bad.
he overtakes you, breaks you
you’ve memorized the way he walks.
Have you ever
been so in love that he can break your heart?
with just one word.
I don’t want to miss you
I’m so angry I feel heavy overcome by so many emotions
I don’t know where to start.
I don’t want to miss you
I’ll start there, it’s self-explanatory
but, don’t you want to know my reason?
If I don’t miss you
you can’t hurt me
you can’t make me feel this way
if I don’t miss you then I don’t love you.
But let’s get real here,
I do love you
and I do miss you
so how do I make the pain stop?
That’s the second thing on the agenda how do I make the pain stop
The answer? I don’t
because I’m not telling you
I won’t tell you.
You tell me I can’t keep a secret
if only you knew the secrets I’ve been keeping
from you, from your family, from my friends
let’s dish, shall we?
I am full of so much anger, hate, bitterness
because I fell in love with you I am so angry that I had to fall in love with someone who is so stupid that he’d cast me aside
like a rag doll.
I hate this emotion so much
love? love? LOVE?
They tell you it’s magic
that it’s beautiful,
but all it is is PAIN
wrapped up in golden paper
and coated in chocolate.
You want to know all the things I keep from you? I love youI’m in love with you you’re my everything and I’m scared.
I waited for so long to be in love, but now? now I wish I’d never felt anything like this.
I wish I’d never met you.
I HATE THIS.
I’m so angry that I can’t feel anything but pain, bitterness, resentment and I can’t
STOP CRYING. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU.
This book was actually a surprisingly entertaining read. I’ve known C.M Lanning for years, but only just managed to get around to reading his books and to be honest, I’m really mad about that because he’s an incredible author.
Is this a dream?
I’ve oft asked myself that question
but the pinches don’t wake me up
and my whole world is :
s p i n n i n g
around and around and around.
You’re magic, electric
vibrancy, butterflies, dizziness
the sparkles in the sky
the rain I watched for hours
with that dumb smile on my face.
You’re waiting, time
slowly
tick –
tock –
tocking away.
You’re a lot, meaningful
but once upon
a time
you were (this
is a secret, our secret…)
the pain that
I thought was love.
You’re fireworks, explosions
of light and heat
inside my head &
you’re fire on my skin
but (and this is a secret
my secret…)
I’m afraid to let this be
what it is.
because I’m still waiting for you to break my heart.
laying back
eyes closed
d r i f t i n g away
against your chest
your heartb e a t
lures me d ee p e r
into a land of dreams
and happy memories
that only e x i s t when
you’re holding me
and telling me “sleep now my p r i n c e s s”
in that sweet calm voice while
you run your fingers through my hair and kiss my forehead
and in my dreams
these moments
never end.
A flurry of southern snow and on Christmas no less
Seen from a lit window, the first snow flakes during
the famous gift exchange
“It’s snowing!” An excited exclamation
and to the window two sets of feet traveled quickly
the room was full of awe and wonder
coats were drawn,
scarves flung around throats haphazardly
And the snow angels danced, spinning with the crystals
of white and purity and the world feels cleansed
You say, “lay down, I’ll show you something beautiful”
I oblige, and you take the snowy ground next to me,
lace your fingers between mine…
and we make snow angel lovers
You tell me, “I want to make these with you forever”
and I tell you, “that’s how long we’ll wait for another miracle.”
With this red thread she can’t hold on anymore
there’s this wall between them
a wall of pain that they’ll either get over
or break heartstrings trying.
Floating in mid-air, round, simple, clear
we’re caught in a bubble, a small little circle
of love, life, and all the simple things
you’re my world and you don’t know it.
i think in lyrics
they fall from my lips like rain.
i think in waves of light, color, love.
i am what, who, where i am.
i am a rainbow, spectrum of light.
i bend, the lighter side of him.
perhaps, but the darker your shadow
the closer you get to the light.
i am vibrant
making my own light because i am farther.
i wish i were darker so i could be close
to the warmth.
alas, i am but vibrancy.
I write about the sandman
and I tell you “It’s a true story”
the hole that “leads to neverland”
is really…
in my back yard
and is, the size of my fist
and it could
p
u
l
l
you through it just as easily as it was dug.
It’s been so long, I’d forgotten how good it felt to rest against you like this. I know we’re both crying now, but I can’t help thinking how amazing it feels to have my face resting against your chest and your arm around me.
I can’t explain it, but I want to be here with you…like this forever. It’s comforting to feel this sensation of belonging. Your hand brushes over my hair and down my back and I’ve never felt so much love for you.
The way things are right now, with you smiling down at me, kissing the top of my head and lacing your free hand with the one I placed on your chest…I wouldn’t trade this for the world. I feel the sting of tears being brought forth and a smile coming to my lips.
My thoughts immediately shift to a song from the opera we watched together and I feel the tears roll down from my eyes, down my cheeks and over my lips.
So I know I didn’t post my Iron Man 2, Thor, or Captain America: The First Avenger threads here, but my Avengers thread on my Twitter broke so I promised everyone I would have this up tonight. You’ll have to wait a little longer for the other three.
Insignificant
Nobody
Useless
Worthless
Broken
and wait for. the. rest.
a sea of words
to describe the pain
of realizing there’s
no one left
who wouldn’t discard you
a sea of pain
for a second, a minute, an hour… a lifetime
of. an. endless. sea.
and hoping maybe someday
you wont feel as
Empty
Despised
Forgotten
Ugly
Invisible
Time passes through sand
an hourglass, the slow fade of f o r e v e r and the promise of happy memories
lost in the darkness of the
s l o w f a d e
and caught between the lines
of imaginary numbers
This is an introspection, my own personal thoughts of where I am right now, a diary entry if you will.
I hate the way I feel right now, so close yet so out of reach. I feel like I’m not changing, not making with the “new”. I still want the same things, I’m still striving for the same things, I’m still stuck. I feel like I’m stuck, sinking in mud. I’m not really worth anything, am I?
I keep telling myself things like that. Things like, I’m never gonna be anyone, but it really isn’t true. I can be anything. Yes, I am confirming that the thing everyone’s mother told them when they were younger is absolutely 100% true. We can still be anything we want to be.
I want to say something about being broken hearted and feeling alone, but I’m reminded that I don’t honestly feel alone…just…confused. I know what I want in the long run, but in the now…I’m struggling to keep it together. It’s strange after a year to be single again, but I honestly don’t feel single. I feel the same, but I feel like a certain other person might be breaking off, branching out…and I’m still holding on.
I’m always holding on, why can’t I just let go? If I don’t learn how to let go of the important things, if I don’t learn how to just let it work itself out…then how will I ever function in society? I already know the outcome, I already know that this will get better. I already know I wont give up.
And like a certain someone told me: “I’m not going anywhere”…you really aren’t are you? You’ll stay the same in this even if I feel like you’re zooming lightyears ahead of me and starting your brand new life…without me…while I’m still stuck here.
But this is it right? I’ve got to learn to stand on my own! I have to know I can do this without you, without my family, without anyone but God to hold me up. You’ve got to know it too, don’t you? You need to know this too. We have to stand alone before we can stand together, don’t we?
I’m amused, this whole introspection ended up being a letter to you about how I feel about us. I still love you, y’know. I promised you…a long time ago that I’d never stop. But…in a way, I’m glad that this is over. I don’t want all the pressure and the fights and the pain. It’s not like I’m losing you 100% is it? No, we’ll always be friends. That’s one thing I’ve learned. That I can’t really ever exist without you. You’re my heart.
I was told, by my mother once that…in life, you really only make two really good friends. The first one is God and the second one is the man you fall in love with.
I don’t feel like I’m losing you, I just feel like I’m losing the “us” we used to be. That old, broken, depressed, trustless version of us. The paranoid, jealous, unhappy version of us. The one where accusations and assumptions defined it. It obviously wan’t based on the friendship we claimed to have before we were together.
Dear Heart,
Fools who run in, burn out
like stars and life and fires and cars
eventually the last light snuffs
the last thread breaks
the last breath breathed
but even though nothing truly lasts
things always begin anew.
So break, dear friend and mend again
become strong and stand alone
be proof of strength and honor and glory
of love and patience and understanding
proof that all things become new.
Be wary friend, of all that glue
and be patient as you wait
and always remember, my dear friend
slow and steady wins the race
You might not ever see this
And you might not even care
but I want to let you know–
you still mean the world to me
your voice still echoes in my head
the place in my back still tingles
when I think about kissing you.
So close I could taste the poison on your lips
so far I could feel your fingertips
I could feel the tears were gone
but now it’s wrecked
this crippling pain is in my chest
I used to be so happy,
I could handle it…
I feel abandoned, lost amongst this vast sea of heartbreak. I never thought I’d ever feel I had to be punished for loving, but I realize now that it never really brings you any joy in life. So many expectations and yet, I crave it like I crave the air I breathe, the food I eat, the water I drink. I eat it like candy or any type of pleasant-tasting food. I fill my lungs with it, the emotion runs through my veins and boils over. Love is worth the pain.
My heart broke the night we stared at the moon &
you told me that you’d never stop loving me &
we fell asleep in the grass, close to keep warm &
in the morning when I woke up to the sun & you were gone – a whisper of the night &
the shadow from my dream the night I never cried again.
My heart breaks to see your smile off in the distance like
a beacon in the night, guiding me to some far off reality like
a dream where we’re together all the time and not like
we’re separated by an hour and 74.6782 miles – I counted.
My heart swells with every step you take towards me with
your arms open, waiting to hold me in them and kiss me with
all your love, all your might, all your being and no matter what I know
without any doubt that there’s no place I’d rather be than here with
you right now, away from reality in a world of spinning colors and cotton candy
dreams and real smiles and everything I could’ve ever wanted…
She told a lie and now she’s stuck
sinking and suffocating in their accusations
their unwillingness to want to help her
but they don’t seem to understand
that there’s only THREE HUNDRED DAYS or ten months or
7 , 2 0 0 hours or
25,920,000 seconds until
she can finally fly again
and her wings aren’t broken
by the weight of broken promises
and their invalid arguments
and their crushing laughter
when all she can think about
is her 300 days or 10 months or 7,200 hours or
25,920,000 seconds until she’s finally free
and ready to fly.
She paints the stars on his bedroom walls
and bends the shapes into perfect symmetry
she kisses his eyelids and cups his face
and she still holds his hand and closes her eyes
when he kisses her and she knows
without a doubt that she loves him
Your lips are smooth against mine
the gentle feeling of your hands against my back
holding me with whispers of desire and
you say “don’t hold back” like you
want all of my pain to flow through you
and out of me completely.
I can’t breathe
under the slabs of concrete
you push upon my heart
and tell me I ruin
everything with
logic between emotion
and breaking beneath
shattered walls of
moods and…
it’s never the right time
for love.
All I’m good for is
ruin and darkness
and there’s a point
in this life where
I stopped living
and started wishing
I was lifeless
a skeleton draped
over my own secret
desert.
I am;
broken promises hanging by the
threads of heartstrings
I am;
darkness and loneliness
tears alone under the moon
I am;
the rain in winter
broken, estranged, ice cold and hidden in hearts I am;
a princess, lost beneath
the crushing black hole of
depression
I am;
afraid I wont get out in time
to be saved from dying
I am;
the reason no one smiles
She was waiting there in her way. The same way she always waited for him to come by. For Peeta to come by. She knew today was the day and this was their moment. The moment she had been waiting for. She was so lonely and wanted everything Peeta had to offer.
I couldn’t contain the elation I felt upon seeing him again. Seeing his beautiful blue eyes, his brilliant blonde hair. I flung myself into his arms, not even questioning he might not be able to hold me due to his lower leg being amputated thanks to those abominable Hunger Games.
Her large pink plastic earrings clicked against her sunglasses as she walked fast into the room holding a huge bottle of red wine. The other agents that had been in the room stopped talking for a minute and gazed over at her, some of them even allowing their jaws to drop open.
The first time you see him, you’re in a group project together. You’ve both been in the same major for nearly four years, and you’ve never seen him before. You’ve never worked with him, never had a class with him. But you’re interested. Just interested enough to overhear him when he begins talking about his girlfriend. It seems like a dead end. So you give up, but it’s a little more than love at first sight when you hear him laugh and he shoots you a smile when you make a sarcastic remark.
He was there when she awoke, standing by the window with his arm braced against the wall. The light from outside was just beginning to filter into the darkness of the room and her head was pounding. She could hardly look at him it was almost too bright, the light illuminating his tan skin and bouncing off of his bloodstained white button-up shirt.
That’s right fans of Desdemona Wren (me) and queer literature (what myself and most of my friends write) I have an email newsletter you can sign up for right now immediately!
I’m running a Patreon where I post smutty stories twice a month and some other cool little tidbits if any of you are interested in supporting this starving artist.
That’s right fans of Desdemona Wren (me) and queer literature (what myself and most of my friends write) I have an email newsletter you can sign up for right now immediately!
Doodling mine and Erin’s characters from the Old Republic which is, of course, our new obsession. We are both Sith Inquisitors. Both of us came from the same place, both slaves and friends before the academy. Or as friendly as we could be while facing terrible conditions and being exploded by our master.
The golden trio based on the post about the lush bath bomb from weedmum because Katie thought it was literally something Finn would do. And while he was freaking out and spitting bubbles Rey and Poe are in the background dying laughing.
Obi-Wan is sped in love airhead she exist trying to talk to the dirt everything barred talked to whim and then one she payment kissed him and he is like what payment night you just and she was like yeah dude ur like suo3r.hot and you raised my kids dufres and he’s so d hi oviedo but Luke and Leia already call him flush and he just years up and he loves everyone and think that Hatake most mentioned everything easy eight in the world. H3 had gotten everything he had rb34 3wnted and do things would than ft in his way more not even the kpoolkook o-o man. He may have impregnated pkademe but Obi-Wan is the one who raised those thcild dfnjkl.
There is no escape from mediocrity
Look around, see the world for what it is
It’s eroded, broken, filled with doubt
Yet, there is always someone there
in the distance, smiling
But, in the end it’s empty; Absolute. nothingness.
If you are a murderer or serial killer someone using an online dating app such as Tumblr or Bumble, be sure to use a picture of an adorable animal to entice your pre-ahem-future mate.
I believe artists need to be discouraged. As someone who is a writer and has written several books, and has a huge passion for my craft, I think that’s the only way of creating worthwhile (not dime-a-dozen) artists.
Pad,e ;oves/ :ole aMalom os kist ;oel mp waor O wdmt watmt tp loo;; ti/. Obi wan is vey ecited to see the twins, theurew anikans bnut theure more Obiwans than his tbh, Obi wan loes badmrrlgjkkd
The asdvnenturs of Obib wan kenoibi aree complicated in wasy the huuamsn brain cannot comrpeene thne. especiall;t the the human brian on aniikenen keywa.llek r. he doewsn’t uyesyer undersrtasnd thatr openbienmklnows baout his edtrafcurruckllar excitstovies.
Anakin is head as far as he is ocvne frne d. There’s no reason for Anakjin to be alivwe with Dath cvader around. e know iot, padme knows itr, ewberyoe kknow it.
The dites satellite getting older and Padmé is the mmk O’Day beaut ufo woman that he system ever sseen. She was still so intent love rjfid I 3 fnajtjfmx ahoys he never thought tonfomcosnw that oath..he was a edim.je didn’t think that he could conference. Would she wants grimballs2 the same way she wanted fnaikend( he didn’t think someone. She was some much he Kwak sleep but he was nowhere near her her stsus.
obid wan doesnt like being tolkd what tot do but padme can tell him what to do all day long if she shdma esnprleases because tyhere’s noithiong stopping her i mean eher hgusband is probablybaly dead. but i mean obiwan knows he dropoenedbnd in lava and not like you know qwcxtualylyly died. he becma er tghat one guy with the cooooookooooo mask and no biwan is like no pafkghme that’s not animkanan en. how could you think that? he dowudl never lie to her but pemge is not co certain.
It wasn’t the kind of place you’d expect to see someone like her. She was the type you’d see in the underground poetry clubs bearing her emo soul out before an audience that felt much of the same thing.
It’s like this:
you wait a lifetime to hear hello
but all they wanna say is good-bye
you wait forever to be their reason
but all they wanna tell you is a lie.
There’s a pain I can’t ignore
Because Earlier I got to thinkin’ “Maybe I can”
but there’s things you don’t want to deal with
so there in lies the problem
to deny what love is
transforms you to hate.
“You’ll never make me feel the way he does.”
“You chose me first.”
“I didn’t choose you.”
“You wanted me first.”
“I didn’t want you.”
“You’re lying.”
“I was interested. I didn’t want you. I didn’t choose you.”
“You were interested in me first.”
“I didn’t know him then.”
“You would’ve still liked me.”
“I wish I didn’t.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Why?”
“You’re ruining my relationship.”
“That isn’t my fault.”
“You want it to be.”
“Maybe.”
“That’s cruel.”
“You’re cruel.”
“You can’t honestly think that.”
“I do.”
“I see the way you look at me.”
“You see what you want to see.”
“Maybe I do.”
“You can’t honestly expect me to believe that you have feelings for him.”
“You’ll never make me feel the way he does.”
“So you still have feelings for me?”
“Ones that are dying.”
“You still want me?”
“I never wanted you.”
“You’re still interested in me?”
“I don’t want to be.”
“But you are.”
“Not like I am with him.”
“More or less?”
“Less.”
“Why?”
“You’ll never make me feel the way he does.”
“You’ve said that three times.”
“It’s true.”
“Whatever.”
“I have to go.”
“Whatever.”
“Bye.”
“Later.”
She can’t speak, lips trembling, shoulders hunched. He continues to scar her, his words cutting so deep she’ll never forget. She’s ashamed of ever loving him, of still loving him. She sits there and he overcomes her, calling her nothing.
It’s 6 o’clock and they’re back to being normal. Or as normal as they can get anyways. She’s sitting in her pink office chair, writing a paper and he’s on her bed reading for class. Neither speaks but instead enjoys the serene safety that lingers in the air around them like a blanket.
That’s right fans of Desdemona Wren (me) and queer literature (what myself and most of my friends write) I have an email newsletter you can sign up for right now immediately!
This was very different from the Netflix Film. Which isn’t a bad thing. Netflix painted everyone in a really positive light to tie up things nicely in the end whereas the book had a little more time to make things messy.
I had a great time streaming for all of you! I probably lost my voice and streaming for this long was probably a bad idea, but I hope all of you enjoyed it!
That’s right fans of Desdemona Wren (me) and queer literature (what myself and most of my friends write) I have an email newsletter you can sign up for right now immediately!
The hardest thing I have ever experienced is waking up numb every morning only for that feeling to be eclipsed by falling in love with you all over again.
It’s always something isn’t it? Something this. Something that. Excuses for not wanting to spend time around me. Excuses for wanting to spend time around me. It’s exhausting. Why can’t you just…
I can’t believe
I still feel like I’m falling
When you kiss me
Head spinning
From heaven back to earth
Spiraling
With feelings of love
So deep
Until I wake up
And realize that you’re gone
I still remember the exact moment I fell in love with you
the very instance.
the way you were standing
face contorted in deep thought
lips pursed, hands holding a guitar.
All I am
All I’ve been reduced to
is a constant state of fear
and anxiety and
I can’t handle the way things are
in my world
in this place
I’m all alone now
in my nightmares
because all you are
is uncaring
unfeeling
and all I am
is fear.
You gave me an ultimatum. I did what you wanted. Quit my job, changed to a different one. I did absolutely everything you asked. Then last night when we were laying in bed, you were holding me, kissing my forehead, caressing my cheek gently…telling me how beautiful I am.
I’m back in the reality
that feels like a simple fantasy
of blurry shapes and hazy days
and you’re not here to hold my hand
but…
why would I expect that of you
You act like you’re the only person in the world who has ever been stressed or… inconvenienced.
But you don’t even see the people practically detonating all around you.
Your tiny amount of stress
is almost
My entire mouth tastes like coffee on the inside. I haven’t had coffee in probably 3 months. But every 8 minutes for 6 to 8 hours straight I have to brew coffee. Over and over and over again. I can do it in my sleep now.
You left at 5:30
and here I am sitting up
so sick I can’t even function
but my heart is so
broken & lonely without you
and I still don’t understand
why there isn’t anyone else I’d rather be with
when most nights all I do
is stay awake
staring at a computer screen
and wishing you wouldn’t leave.
Obiwan loves his family but somethingtesd they dob;’t know what to even thing. somethimes terhere is a griafffew tith a crossbow and then some puchuoc people, but mostly he just loves the winswed.
Friends who don’t read: I don’t understand. Why would people hate you because of your writing?
Friends who do read: I FUCKING HATE YOU. YOU’RE A MONSTER. WHEN IS THE NEXT BOOK COMING OUT?
Friends who write: Recently I started getting death threats for my latest novel. I’ve reached the big time. I have become one of the top authors in the world. This is my big break.
Hello again, everyone. I’ve returned from my venture out into the world and have devoured my rose petal ice cream only to return to this immediately when I come home. With 13 as my co-pilot and kuresoto, our number one fan.
Suzuka Chiba was late making it home. She’d gone to town that morning to sell a few of their unwanted items for extra money. This had now become her job since her eldest sister, Yuki Chiba was married off last year.
I’m betaing Wild Ones by Louise Czarnobai right now and this book is so good. I’m so happy to be reading it. I’m a great one to have around though for comments like these. For real.
Being an author is hard. Cause some days you just wanna NaNo but then you have to schedule like 400 days worth of promotional posts, beta a book, look for a PA, and summon the devil to keep your sick ass awake to do all this shit.
1. POLITICS
2. LACK OF MULTI-RACIAL OR QUEER MCS
3. URBAN FANTASY HAVING ALMOST NO DIVERSITY
4. THE HIGH-TECH MAGIC GENRE
5. GROWING UP VERY VERY GAY IN THE VERY DEEP SOUTH.
My editor just did an interview! I love them so much and they definitely deserve all the praise they get! Thank you Mikki Noble for featuring Charlie on your blog <3
Okay so. Get this. This book has got an ace mc, a lesbian mc, a bi mc, and a full cast of POC characters with a metric fuckton of teeth melting fluff and hijinks.
This is my first review for Marjorie. So far as I know. Because Amazon hasn’t posted several reviews of my books in the past, much to the dismay of my fans.
After writing Marjorie Diaz, my second book, I’ve run into a lot of issues with Marjorie Diaz being ace. Here are some things I’ve learned and had people say to me post-publication:
1. There are strong female friendships
2. Everyone and everything is gay
3. There’s at least one lesbian
4. There’s all the foreshadowing
5. There’s maaaaagiiiiiiic with technology
I highly recommend this book. My review below contains spoilers, but if you like lesbians in space then this is the book for you. Pearcy is an excellent writer and her characters are fantastic.
Marjorie Diaz has no idea who this guy, Patrick Watkins, is. When he saunters into her senior seminar class during her last semester of college, the last thing she expected was to fall in love with him.
Most of you know that Scott Westerfeld is my favorite author. I post about him constantly on my social media and tweet at him and I’ve even been retweeted by him. Twice.
The writing needs a lot of work, but for a debut short story, this was fairly good. I couldn’t really get a grasp on the characters or the world they lived in, so honestly, from my viewpoint, it could have been longer. I’m not a huge fan of vampires, but I do like supporting lesbian romance. However, I think the romance between Corin and Lindsay moved very quickly. I know there’s a lot of joking in lesbian culture about how lesbian relationships move very fast, but I find it hard to believe that Lindsay would have chosen Corin over her mother after hardly knowing her for a few weeks.
There were a lot of things I felt were detrimental to the story. There isn’t enough description or time to grow to like the characters. Magical realms need time to be set up, there’s a lot of world building required to write these kinds of stories. Also, the way the book was designed left a lot to be desired. You shouldn’t have both a paragraph indentation and a double space between every paragraph. It looks bad.
All in all, I did enjoy the story. There’s nothing like a heartwarming lesbian story about two unlikely people falling in love, but I hope in the future Burkhart will continue to grow and persevere to make their writing better. I know from experience how hard it can be to publish something on your own without an editor, cover designer, or someone to format your book.
You’ve made incredible strides, Ava. I wish you all the best and may your stories become even better moving forward. I’ll be watching and keeping up with your work. One LGBT author to another, we need all the support we can get.
It’s sort of like paranormal romance, but it doesn’t have any vampires in it. I know everybody really likes vampires and stuff, but nymphs are cool too, right?
From start to finish, this book is a complete science fiction masterpiece. I was hooked right away. Science fiction is one of my all-time favorite genres and William Aicher knows exactly what he’s doing.
Recently I published a tweet talking about how important it is to review the works you read. Every single book your reading deserves a review, whether it’s good, bad, or ugly. You owe it to the author to tell them what you thought.
These are in no particular order, haha. Just 10 books I read this year that I really, REALLY liked. (LGBT Titles are marked because y’all know I’m tryinna sell those the most).
At first glance, Distant Memories seems a little strange. It isn’t your typical impeccably edited novel, but instead J.L Keathley chooses to work outside of the novel standard and write a book with mistakes. This, is a style choice and an incredible one at that.
The story follows Jade, a teenager who lives in Texarkana, Arkansas. She’s your typical, All-American teen who lives with her friendly and wonderful grandmother and has the best of best friends. The book is told from her point of view and very much reads like a teenager’s diary.
In the beginning, the book is slow, but once it comes time for Jade’s 16th birthday, everything changes very quickly. Jade undergoes an incredible transformation from her human self into something so much more. Her world becomes bigger and brighter and a lot more confusing.
She loses people, she finds people, and she becomes an adult in such a short amount of time. That’s where things get even weirder. J.L Keathley writes this story wonderfully, every single part of it written like a diary entry from Jade’s point of view as she slowly discovers who she really is and what her place is in the world.
The numerous twists and turns and big reveals had me reeling for the entire book. There is still so much to learn and know about Jade and her new shadow realm family.
This book is incredible and always left me guessing. The big reveal at the end ALONE was enough to make me shout “WHAT THE HECK!!” angrily at the sky.
Well done, J.L I cannot wait for the second book, Impossible Decisions, when it is released in 2019.
Anyways, here’s what I’ve been up to the past few days. I made some incredible strides with Nighthawks, the sequel to Bloom. I also did an interview with @Unm4sk3dPodc4st because they’re amazing. And I’ve been reading a bunch of great books.
Agatha Zaza captures the essence of what it’s like to slowly fall out of love with someone. Zaza’s prose is incredible and it kept my eyes glued to the page as I read.
**This Review Contains Spoilers For Now or Never Book One and Study Break**
This book was easier to get into than Smoke’s previous book, Daimon. I’m not a fan of Reverse Harem, but I am a fan of supporting authors. While a lot of the description in this book weighed heavily on the purple prose side, I gave Smoke the benefit of the doubt and continued reading.
This is something I tell a lot of people who are just starting out. The Sims helps you give characters basic traits, it helps you work out their long-term goals, and it helps give you a vague idea of what they look like.
Romance was one of the first things I learned how to write and write well. This means I’m hellllaaa fucking picky about what kind of romance I read. Don’t let my username fool you, I’m almost 0% into the actual romance genre. And you’ll learn why.
I don’t have anything that anyone expressly asked me today, but I was reading a few blogs yesterday because I was feeling really down on myself. To date, I haven’t written very many creative works that have been published. I have a whole ton of published news stories and blogs, but nothing creative.
I’ve been in the game long enough to know that everyone gets writer’s block. It’s simply a way of life for people who pursue careers where they have to be creative. Having a creative block is nothing to be ashamed of, but there are several ways you can work around it.
